When Life Gives You Lemons
by Scaehime
Summary: ...What else can you do besides make lemonade? Ed decides to make apple juice. Winry might make apple pie. Or maybe she'll throw a wrench at the messenger's head... I have almost a dozen in mind for future updates, but I'm open to requests, as long as they don't involve 'romantic' lemons. Story art was hand-drawn by me. Enjoy! (Requests still accepted while on hiatus.)
1. Make Apple Juice

Make apple juice, and then laugh as the world tries to figure out how you did it.

* * *

Al and Ed were on the train leaving Xenotime. Ed had finally relented and let Al see the note that they found in the basket of lemons, after his little brother used the puppy-dog eyes on him. How that worked, given Al was a soul bound to a suit of armor and thus could not truly show emotion on his face, he had no idea. After Al had finally stopped snickering at the contents of the note, Al asked him what he planned to do with the lemons.

Ed smirked. "Make apple juice, of course!"

Falman, whom Mustang had assigned to keep an eye on the brothers for this trip, spoke up, surprising them. "How do you plan to do that, Chief?"

"With alchemy, of course," Ed replied. Then he realized who had asked the question. "Falman! What are you doing here?! Colonel Mustard* sent you, didn't he?"

Falman nodded. Ignoring Ed's scowl, he asked, "So how can you get apple juice out of lemons? That seems a little weird, even with alchemy."

Ed gave no reply beyond a mischievous laugh.

* * *

*Colonel Mustard: I don't use swear words, but I know Ed tends to call Mustang a word that rhymes with mustard, so I combined that and 'Mustang' as a compromise. As for why Mustang sent Falman to keep an eye on the Elric brothers, I figured, how else could he always seem to know exactly what they've been up to before Ed makes his report?

* * *

A/N: I'm guessing I got the idea for this fic after having recently watched the Xenotime episodes in the 2003 anime (The Other Brothers Elric, parts 1 and 2, episodes 11 and 12).

More to come, such as using the lemons to give someone's gloves a nice scent. Suggestions are much appreciated, the more improbable the better, but keep them clean, please.

A couple questions:

Would you prefer each snippet to have its own chapter, or multiple snippets in each subsequent chapter? If multiple, how many?

Would you mind references to other fandoms, or would you prefer I keep this strictly FMA(B)? So far, I only have one idea for a crossover-ish reference, so I can leave it out or include it, depending on what my readers would prefer, without much hassle either way.

God bless!


	2. Throw a Wrench at the Messenger's Head

Throw a wrench at the messenger's head.

* * *

'I hope Winry accepts those lemons as as peace offering,' Al thought as he and Ed walked up the path to the Rockbell home. 'Ed still won't tell me how he managed to wreck his arm!'

"Edward, you moron!" Winry screamed from the balcony. "Why do you never call ahead of time?"

"Just get down here, Winry!" Ed called back. "I don't just have bad news this time!"

-Minutes later, inside-

"So I'm guessing the bad news is that your arm is broken yet again. What's the good news, Ed?" Winry sighed.

"W-well," Ed stuttered as he pulled off his signature red coat with his left hand. "Eh, the arm's still intact?"

Indeed it was, but it hung from his shoulder limply.

"How did this happen?" Winry asked, her tone calm, but her hand drifting toward the wrench on her belt.

Ed huffed. "I was trying to make apple juice out of lemons, and the transmutation went weird."

ZING!

"OUCH! Winry, that hurt!" One guess as to whose whine that was.

* * *

A/N: There's more to this scenario, but it goes along with another lemon use, so it'll be in the next chapter. I'll try to update weekly, but no guarantees. Feel free to spam my pm inbox if I'm taking too much longer than that, though.

God bless!

Posted 7/24/13


	3. Make Apple Pie

Make apple pie.

* * *

"Wow, this apple pie is delicious, Winry!" Ed exclaimed, not caring about keeping his usual calm facade, and, for some reason, not caring that he didn't care. "Where'd you get such sweet fruit to make it?"

"You really want to know?" Winry replied, smirking mentally.

Ed nodded as he scarfed down another huge bite of the sweet apple pie.

"From the lemons you and Al brought," Winry answered nonchalantly.

"Are you okay, Brother?" Al asked Ed, who had just choked on that bite of pie.

Ed coughed a bit, calmed his breathing, and answered, "Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks, Al." To Winry, he said, "How did you get _apple_ pie using _lemons?_"

"You have your secrets, and I have mine," she answered with a laugh. "Equivalent exchange, right?"

* * *

A/N: Sorry this is a couple days late, to those who have been waiting. To those who haven't, e.g. those who come across this fic later, sorry for taking up this extra space with unnecessary apologies.

God bless!

Posted 8/2/13


	4. Say, 'Hm, tastes like chicken'

Say, 'Hm, tastes like chicken!'

* * *

'Equivalent exchange, huh?' Ed thought as he ate the delicious apple pie Winry had made.

"So, how's it taste, Brother?" Al asked, hoping it would be something to add to the list of foods to try once he had his body back.

Ed swallowed his current mouthful before replying. He didn't want to choke again! "Hm, tastes like chicken!" Ed smirked, ignoring the danger signals from Winry, or, more specifically, her wrench.

Bad idea.

ZING!

* * *

A/N: Sorry this is a couple days late (AGAIN!), to those who have been waiting. To those who haven't, e.g. those who come across this fic later, sorry for taking up this extra space with unnecessary apologies.

God bless!

Posted 8/10/13


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